A goal without a plan is but a dream. Dream’s are fine, but they as free and plentiful as the stars. We can dream as much as we like. There’s nothing wrong with chasing a dream, holding to a dream, or letting go of one at any time. After all, they are just the flickers of imagination that fill our head at night.
An issue only arises when we start wanting to make our dreams a reality. For most, dreams are challenges that lie beyond the reach of ordinary effort – if it were easy we’d just get it already. I have found that when I want to get from here to there in the most effective way possible, a plan is an indispensable tool.
A plan begins with a goal. What are we trying to achieve? We identify the conditions for success. Then we look at all the obstacles in the way, and then how to overcome those. Without being explicitly written out, its easy for things to slip between the cracks. After all, the goal is a challenge because we are reaching for something our grasp.
When we put the plan in motion, we get feedback so that we can better choose how to spend our limited time and energy to get to where we want to be. It’s important to have the solid description of what was tried so we know what works to repeat, and what to change to do better next time.
Of course, I’m writing all this now because I have no plan. And I’m doing this instead of writing a plan because I don’t know what my goal is. I find myself in a post-sprint exhaustion wherein I’ve accomplished my initial goal and am uncertain of the direction I want to go from here.
In truth I wanted to have the plan written out before starting this blog so I could hit the ground running and not look back. But I kept putting that off to the point where I decided it would probably serve me to just jump in and play it by ear.
That balance of rigidity to flexibility is always a difficult thing to maintain. Sometimes just going for it works out. Done is always better than perfect. Reality always trumps fantasy. Now I have a blog, instead of just vague dreams of a blog.
And so here I am caught in between breaths not knowing which direction to take. There’s nothing wrong with just doing whatever feels right, but it’s hard to maintain the momentum to overcome difficult challenges when there’s no shining light at the end of the tunnel. This week’s offering is exactly that: a half-assed interpretation of a song I’d like to play, but was not willing to put in the effort to do it properly.
Doing it “properly” means learning how and why this song that I like works, and brings me a step closer to understanding how the musician I admire created it. Instead, I just churn out what sounds “close enough” to me and is fun and easy for me to play. I like it enough to share, but it doesn’t push me closer to any specific goal.
Here’s the real song:
Right now I just have a general goal at getting better at playing ukulele, and any playing can be considered a step in the right direction. But its a stark contrast to having a set of repertoire to polish up to “performance ready.” I felt the improvement, and felt the accomplishment for the work I did over the past few months, but where to go from here is unclear.
I have a thing where I try continuously have to realign my ideas of “what I want” with “what I actually do.” For example: I think and say that “I want to be a better ukulele player” and so I practice daily. But the way that I practice by default is not in a way that moves me toward the direction of the “better ukulele player” that I want to be. Objectively, these actions reflect that I “just want to have fun making noise” instead of becoming a “better player.”
At the start of the year I set a goal to polish up a set that I could take to play by a pool. I made a plan to focus on three songs a week, followed through on the plan, and feel like I now have a set that I could play in public. It was freaking hard. I never put in that kind of work before to become a better player, and without a hard challenge I’m slipping back into my default practice habits.
But that’s the kind of “better player” I want to be. I want to be able to proudly play in public. Maybe? Maybe not, since I’m not doing it. I need to get out of my house and try it out more, but my physical condition makes it an somewhat risky activity. There’s a rather high chance that I will wind up with nausea and a harsh migraine that will last for several days if I dare to push my physical limits.
There’s a lot of music I’m interested in being able to play too. I still have all the anime music instrumentals I want to learn to play. I’ve picked up some new modern pop songs and some new older pop songs to extend the performance set. There’s a handful of jazz standards that are entering my repertoire. I’ve even managed to play an hour’s worth of instrumentals, albeit at a lower level of polish than performance set.
Going outside to perform might be worth the risk. I can get it if I really want, but I must try, try, and try. If I really want to “get there” someday, I need another plan. I need to find where “there” is. Then I can try to find the right path to travel. Just, where is it that I want to go? What is worth putting all the effort and energy into?
Why not just chill and not worry about it and watch more isekai?